Nails: Christmas trees – It could count as too early but then they looked like this…

I am listening to Hanzel Und Gretyl’s new album, ‘Black Forest Metal’, and it is a little more black metal than I expected. However it did make me think about forests, which then led to trees.

This then leads to Christmas trees as everyone is intent of forcing me to be festive ASAP. If I must then so be it, but on my terms.

pink christmas tree nails

(Photo from Pinterest)

My terms might be slightly ironic and bitchy… but gosh you really can’t miss these nails!

I wonder if my coworkers will stop nagging me about organising the Secret Santa now…

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Film: ‘The Eagle’ – “I hate everything you stand for”

I am unsure if I was actually forced to read some of Rosemary Sutcliff’s book as a child, it sounds probable given I found one whilst clearing out. However I don’t recall anything about them.

‘The Eagle’ doesn’t have a plotline that sounds instantly appealing to me, in 140 AD some chap decides to wander into Scotland with his slave to see if he can find the Eagle that was lost (along with 5,000 men) with his father 20 years previously.

the eagle

It was the husband’s idea to watch ‘The Eagle’ and he really enjoyed the costumes. I was less convinced, for starters I feel that sealskin clashes with green body and face paint.

In terms of the acting I’d only previously seen Channing Tatum in ‘G.I. Joe’ where, bluntly, acting wasn’t required and nor was it really needed in ‘The Eagle’. However ‘G.I. Joe’ was far more watchable than ‘The Eagle’, which was just dull.

On the plus side I can’t recall the last time I got away with heckling a film this much!

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Book: Laurell K Hamilton’s ‘Burnt Offerings’ and ‘Blue Moon’ (Anita Blake 7 and 8) – “When you apologize, try not to smile at the same time. It ruins the effect”

Nearly there with what I own of the Anita Blake series, I remember book 9 being fab so I just need to get through these last two then I am in for the good stuff… if my memory is accurate and I am beginning to wonder after the last few books.

Please don’t read the below if you are under 18 or over 18 and easily offended/immature, the book isn’t suitable for you at all and it’s impossible to comment on the book without touching on some of these themes. Oh yeah, may contain triggers, sorry about that but Hamilton seems to frequently uses rape as a plot device to show that someone is in peril.

‘Burnt Offerings’ starts so promisingly, Anita is approached about a case, an actual case that doesn’t involve bonking the vampire Master of the City, that doesn’t involve her dating him or the now properly alpha werewolf Richard. Weee…. And then crash down to earth as there is some vampire politics going on, specifically Asher (J-C’s long lost male lover) has returned to town and is an unhappy vampire about so many things – including the holy water scars that cover one half of his body.

burnt offerings

The plot is not terribly robust, actually it is window dressing for the rape, gang rape, descriptions of Anita’s sexy outfits, torture, heavily implied sexual use of a possessed body without the original occupant agreeing to it (which is rape), rotting vampires, rotting vampires threatening to rape people, more torture, did I mention rape? That pretty much covers it – apart from Nathaniel which then starts going into S&M sex and gosh I’d honestly forgotten that occurred before book 10, I am not comfy going there.

If the sex had actually been consensual then this could have new genre – paranormal smut. As it mostly wasn’t consensual (or necessary) then that just makes it charity shop fodder. I am not really happy with reading about this much rape and it doesn’t feel like entrainment at all.

Additionally it is getting annoying that  Anita thinks she is the centre of the universe by this point in the series and all the men let her carry on that way.

‘Blue Moon’, I was not looking forward to reading this after the rape-fest that was the last book. But at least we start with ALLEDGED rape rather than actual rape.

blue moon

Not that Richard did it, but he has been shagging all sorts and probably is horribly infested with STDs by now. We also have Nathaniel’s creepy demands for S&M sex, were-leopards are not healthy and well-rounded individuals in these books and I find it actually pretty disturbing to have a main-ish character who is too messed up to stand-up for themselves or use any common sense. For example, if the nice people want to cut you up whilst ***king you it might be a good idea to walk away before they gut you and leave you for dead. Or at least have a safe word and a minder to enforce it for you.

I am so done with rotting vampires, just die the true death already!

Anita has super powers, everyone is in awe at her, she randomly does something stupid and now all the werewolves are chasing her to ***k her… erm wow I wish I was making that up.

Origanlly when I read this books I must have either not actually connected them to reality or I was a silly little girl then and events of the past year have made me grow-up. I am personally mortified to own something that is this flippant about sexual violence and consent.

This series is miles away from a healthy relationship with sex, even when it isn’t rape-obsessed it’s unhealthy’ it’s all guilt and worrying about what people will think, without actually engaging your own brain and working out what is best, what is a good idea and what sort of compromise will be needed to ensure a healthy relationship with these people – be it as friends, as lovers or as casual sex.

The message seems to be  that Anita surrounds herself with men and her self-worth seems to be about how she has these two men that she loves and she can’t pick just one, so instead she runs around making crazy impulsive choices and everyone treats her as if she is special.

I am not keeping either of these books as there is too much rape for me to want to reread them ever again.

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Food: McVitie’s jaffa cakes lemon & slime cake bar – All Trick, all the time

As the name suggests this is a Halloween treat that I bought after the event because it was a) Halloween themed and b) heavily reduced.

It was the right price, size and sugar content to sound like good lunchbox filler, however on closer inspection it contains 96 calories and 3,5 gr fat, of which 1.8 gr saturated.

jaffa cake lemon and slime

This seems rather a lot for a thin layer of cheap chocolate, some dry cake and a fake lemon taste.

I’m disappointed but at least the cause of my disappointment was very cheap – although the packet does contain five bars in total so I’ve got more disappointment for tomorrow.

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Pop Culture: The Enormous Crocodile VS sleep

I’m torn, I don’t want to buy silly things and I do want a minimalist house, but frankly the idea of the Roald Dahl’s ‘The Enormous Crocodile’ in a duvet cover is very very tempting!

enormous crocodile duvet cover

I’m sure I could argue that a crocodile would ensure that things are kept minimalist…

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Nails: Clover – “We’re up all night to get lucky”

At time of writing the house thing remains silly and I still fancy some good luck, maybe the black cats in space were too subtle a hint to the universe so I’m going to be a cliché – CLOVER!

Looking for inspiration on the internet provided me with lots of ‘interesting’ “Saint Patty’s Day” nails, some of these are utterly beyond description, a surprising number feature the use of real clovers covered in nail varnish.

Saint Patrick does have a link to clover, aka shamrock, as apparently he used the three leaf version to demonstrate the three aspects that make up the Christian version of God.  However I am pretty sure that his clover wasn’t a dayglo and glitter monstrosity loving adorned onto sharpened talons.

For my purposes I’d prefer the four leaf version – which is technically a mutant version. Given how ‘interesting’ the paperwork and timings sides of this house move has been mutant seems jolly appropriate – unfortunately.

four leaf clover nails

(Picture from Pinterest)

I am actually a bit worried that these are too tasteful for the universe to take the hint, so let’s pull out all the stops:

four leaf clover nails from hell

(Picture from Pinterest)

Dear universe – take a damn hint.

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Film: ‘From Paris With Love’ – “you do realize that I am not Special Ops certified, right?”

I don’t know what I expected from a film taken from a story written by Luc Besson, but I honestly didn’t expect ‘From Paris With Love’.

It is as if someone sat down and thought “I know, US foreign policy isn’t currently very popular, let’s make a film that will offend more people than that.”

Jonathan Rhys Meyers is Dracula James Reece, an aide to the U.S. Ambassador in Paris who is doing little favours for the CIA and hoping to move into that field of work. He ends up working with Charlie Wax, aka a large, bald, grumpy, racist and offensive caricature played with obviously glee by John Travolta.

from paris with love

Travolta runs around being large, bald, grumpy, racist and offensive with Rhys Meyers wandering along with him – whilst holding an oriental vase of coke for rather a large part of the film.

Unfortunately Rhys Meyers looks and sounds like when he played Dracula, so I keep expecting him to get bored and rip out someone’s throat.

I have tried to get rid of this film twice before, both times it was returned; hopefully the third time will be the charm!

With that in mind I am going to include spoilers right about now… James Reece’s girlfriend Caroline is a terrorist who likes Volvos. Charlie blows up the Volvo with a rocket launcher – whilst on the motorway, James shoots Caroline. James and Charlie bond, the audience wonder why they bothered.

Copyright © WhereEvilThoughts 2014 – excluding pictures! Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to WhereEvilThoughts with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.