Film: ‘Intolerable Cruelty’ – “I said I wouldn’t whilst I wasn’t which implies no promise once I am.”

Divorce and Divorce  Lawyers hardly seem an obvious theme for a romantic comedy. Which probably explains why ‘Intolerable Cruelty’ is labelled as a romantic black-comedy.

I must confess that I have a certain opinion of Catherine Zeta-Jones having seen ‘Entrapment’ – which featured a rather large age gap between her and Sean Connery and general manipulation of affections.

This opinion isn’t massively flattering and is probably horribly unfair – although  ‘American Sweethearts’ added to the opinion also.

Intolerable_cruelty

In the interests of politeness I won’t comment on Michael Douglas being 20-odd years older than her or his really interesting comments about what caused his cancer. The latter did make me feel sorry for her.

Anyway, If one happened to already have potentially thought that Zeta-Jones was a money digging slut would mean that believing her role in ‘Intolerable Cruelty’ needs no suspension of disbelief.

This is a good thing as, at least in this, she can’t act for toffee.

George Clooney is similarly afflicted, I’m aware that it could be really fantastic acting, but he seems too smug for words and wears it like a second skin.

There were some funny lines but overall it was a very disposable film.

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Book: Patricia Briggs’ ‘Bone Crossed’ – “One of the oddest things about being grown-up was looking back at something you thought you knew and finding out the truth of it was completely different from what you had always believed”

At the end of book 3 Mercy was raped and some aftermath of this event was depicted.

Book 4 ‘Bone Crossed’ starts at the place book 3 let off – there is actually some scene overlap, and then Mercy goes off charging into another adventure.

At this point my suspension of disbelief got annoyed and stopped playing.

bone crossed

If Mercy really is part of the pack now and really is Adam’s mate then why the BLEEP isn’t anyone protecting her?

Why the BLEEP is everyone saying “ok” to her running out of state pretty much on her own – everyone keeps saying how vampires cant be trusted so Stefan shouldn’t count even if he is ok for a vampire, to investigate a haunting at the house of her old college ‘friend’ who just happens to live in the State where a vampire known as The Monster lives!

Everyone treats Mercy as some sort of supernatural punching bag and it just isn’t fun to read anymore.

The plot is rubbish too, but that is almost by the way compared to my indignation at everyone assuming Mercy will be ok and then blaming her when the sh*t hits the fan!

I remember disliking book 3 but book 4 is just boring and stupid.

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Garden: Freaky giant grubs

Ever since I started digging in the garden I’ve been finding lots and lots of large icky looking white grubs / larvae varying from tiny to nearly 5 cm long.

They are fat and gross looking – which hasn’t really narrowed down my Google results which just showed me lots of random ick looking grubs. I was working on the assumption that because it was a grub it ate plant roots.

As such I may have been treating the grubs as free bird food.

cockchafter

(Photo from Wiki)

However this evening we saw a giant flying scarab style beetles that look very out of place in the UK, the bug was so distinctive that a quick Google search revealed it to be a cockchafer beetle.

Also known as a May Bug, the beetles themselves are harmless they chop on plants – but to a lesser degree than the grubs which are also known as rookworms.

It was a shock seeing so many big flying bugs in the garden today, but it is nice to know what the grubs are!

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Food: Dirt & Worms fairy cakes taught me something about cherries…

When I was in America as a child I was introduced to the concept of ‘Dirt and Worms’.

Basically it is a very unhealthy but fun pudding which looks like this:

dirt and worms

(Photo from Kraft)

There are various recipes to make Dirt & Worms but it generally goes along the lines of:

  • instant pudding
  • cookies
  • some sort of whipped topping
  • jelly worms

 I’ve been roped into helping with a bake sale and wanted to make a fairy cake version of  these, for which I wanted to use a glace cherry to give the impression of innards… yes that is somewhat gross but I didn’t volunteer to bake so they are getting what I want to make!

It turns out that not all glace cherries are created equal, for example Sainsburys £1.40 for 200gr glace cherries ingredients look like:

Cherries (56%), Glucose-Fructose Syrup, Sugar, Fruit And Vegetable Concentrates: Sweet Potato, Apple, Cherry, Radish; Acidity Regulator: Citric Acid; Preservative: Sulphur Dioxide

These taste very different to the Waitrose Cooks Ingredients £2.09 for 200gr glace cherries which contain less freaky sounding flavourings:

Cherries (54%), glucose-fructose syrup, sugar, CONCENTRATED FRUIT JUICE (2%) (cherry juice, aronia berry juice, elderberry juice), preservative sulphur dioxide

dirt and worm cakes

(Photo from Kraft)

As the taste is very noticeably improved with the Waitrose cherries I suppose I better splash out on those as I want to gross people out rather than leave them with a bad taste in their mouths!

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Nails: Butterflies

Butterflies are free and get to play in the sun… I am rather jealous of this given I’m stuck at work… however given work are making redundancies at the moment I should just clarify that I’d like to be free but with a steady paycheck!

butterfly nails

(Photo from Pinterest)

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Film: Dentists in Film

The Husband has been having teeth issues of late, they could be less self-inflicted and are costing a pretty penny so I’m feeling oh-so-very sympathetic.

Which is why I decided to try to find some horror films with dentists in for his enjoyment…

Much to my surprise I couldn’t find many – yes there are a couple of trashy B movies but nothing worth tracking down or spending good money on.

There is Steve Martin’s character in ‘Little Shop of Horrors’ and of course that scene in ‘Marathon Man’ but other than that I ended up at ‘Teeth’ which is an odd little film but not really suitable.

It is surprising as there are lot of films about evil clowns and I’m sure at least as many people are unhappy about dentists as about clowns. Perhaps it is because seeing a dentist is mandatory whilst clowns are generally avoidable and everyone is too scared to risk annoying their dentist…

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Book: Patricia Briggs’ ‘Iron Kissed’ – “It was like being leaned on by a very heavy, warm brick. A sexy brick”

‘Iron Kissed’ is the third book in the Mercy Thompson series and the one that I knew I had issues with.

The issue is largely around my personal feeling that rape is not a valid plot device. I am aware that it is a handy way of putting a female led in peril but it crops up in a fair number of urban fantasy books to the extent that it feels like rape is being trivialised.

With the Mercy Thompson series you can at least say it was foreshadowed so wasn’t a complete surprise, in the first book Moon Called there is heavy implication of something inappropriate and sexual happening to a young teen who is being held hostage and Mercy’s branding of someone as a rapist, in book 2 Blood Bound Mercy concludes the chap she accused of being a rapist probably isn’t but she uses a rape analogy for when a vampire fed from her without consent – I can see why that would feel a potentially appropriate description as it is a bodily violation.

iron kissed

(It is curiously hard to find images of the old UK covers online despite the fact they are far more tasteful than the US covers or the new UK ones)

Which means that is isn’t a huge surprise that book three goes THERE, I dislike the scene but at least Briggs does deal a bit with the aftermath, Mercy isn’t magically expected to pick herself and carry on as normal – except she sort of does.

What I find most disappointing is that the rest of the book is actually interesting, ok so there isn’t much werewolf stuff or shifter stuff but the fae plotline is really interesting and was something that I’d have liked to not associate with rape.

On the plus side, the book does at least make sure the reader will remember to not trust the fae.

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