Dirty hands trump busted knee

Anytime I try to engage properly with Health and Safety rules I regret it.

My most recent encounter with Health & Safety was at work was due to my knee (patella femoral joint pain) – I am not enjoying stairs so am moving down them very very slowly. Someone with helpful intent mentioned that I should probably check with the Facilities department, the gatekeepers of health and safety, to check what to do in the event of fire.

This may sound unnecessary, but I have seen my colleagues exit the building due to a little smoke and they would merrily trample over the young and elderly if it meant prolonging their lives for even a second longer.

(Photo from some TArt)

As such I had an appointment to draw up a PEEP – a Personal Emergency Evacuation Plan, this transpired to be entirely based on how quickly I could get down stairs. The woman from Facilities clutched her clipboard and stood half-way down the stairs with a stopwatch.

As it happens the impressive layer of dust on both the steps and handrail definitely helped with my time, I slipped on the second step and went down the subsequent ones exceedingly quickly in a most uncontrolled manner!

This did ensure that I met the timing requirements. As failing the timing requirements would have meant moving seats (in fact floors) to sit with the strange people in Archiving, as oppose to the strange people in my actual department, I decided not to admit to falling rather than walking down the stairs.


The very dirty state of my hands after touching the handrail did also serve as a timely distraction so the clipboard lady didn’t question my descent!

So I’ve learnt two things thanks to my stupid patella femoral joint pain; firstly health and safety only care *that* you tick the box rather than worrying about *how* you tick it, secondly in the event of a fire I need to use the main stairs as the back stairs are covering in dust and dead bugs.


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