TV: ‘The Walking Dead’ – teaching me very bad habits

Despite multiple recommendations and seemingly endless memes I hadn’t got around to watching ‘The Walking Dead’.

Some of this is because I grew up watching classic horror films, so am not overly fond of gore, zombie-related media tends to have lots and lots of gore.

the walking dead

However my sibling is a massive zombie fan and despite being overseas has requested that I pick up ‘The Walking Dead’ comics so that they don’t miss an issue. With this sort of dedication it was hard not to be curious about the show that is adapted from the comics.

Luckily my TV provider had the first season available as part of my nice new package, the first thing that I noticed that that this show wasn’t childlocked – but ‘Boardwalk Empire’ and ‘Strike Back’ are.

I am unsure of the official reason but I did notice that ‘The Walking Dead’ doesn’t show breasts, but the other two do. ‘The Walking Dead’ does show partly-eaten corpses, reanimated loved-ones upsetting small children and dismembered zombies that keep on trying to move, but as it doesn’t show bare breasts Sky didn’t feel that it needed a childlock.

child lock

There was overwhelmingly less graphic gore than I feared – so far, but there was enough to suggest that there will be more as the show progresses!

From the first episode I did pick up on a few life lessons that will be entirely counterproductive if I try follow them:

  • Assume that everyone is definitely dead-dead without checking and do make sure to turn your back on them.
  • Upon waking up in hospital and are unable to raise a nurse to assist you, do ensure that you rush out into the corridor in a confused and disoriented state, this will make everything so much clearer.
  • When in a dangerous situation ensure that you park your car on the road then walk some distance downhill to investigate a blatant dead end. This gives the zombies more chances to eat you.
  • Ignore your surroundings at all times, it makes it far easier for the zombies to corner you.

the walking dead daryl

  • When trying to escape slow(ish) moving zombies do make sure that you crawl rather than run or climb – this gives the zombies a sporting chance.
  • Zombies like teddies more than brains, so if the zombie has a teddy do take your time shooting it even as it advances on you.
  • Avoid killing loved ones who reanimate as zombies, this keeps the family unit alive for longer … sort of…
  • Split up at the slightest provocation and ideally make yourself as vulnerable as possible by exiting your vehicle needlessly.
  • Ignore the massive queue of destroyed cars that are on the side of the road that is leaving the city, instead continue into the ruins of civilisation expecting there to be help inside – as oppose to armies of zombies.
  • Travelling long distances looking for a spouse who left you behind is always going to be a worthwhile trip without any awkward surprises.

All in all I enjoyed the show – other than my constant shouting at the TV that all the characters were being stupid, had never seen a horror film in their life and deserved to be eaten…

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