Film – ‘I Am Number Four’- The puppy-lizard ate the script

There is a seemingly increasing trend for movies with teen protagonists – well the character is meant to be a teen, the actors are normally much old!

These films seem to spend most of the first half setting the scene and have a manic second half with as much action crammed in as possible. Most of these are films are adapted from teen books which I will probably never read, so I am having to trust that the films give me enough backstory to make sense of the potentially wider universe – but very often I end up with the impression that the script writer didn’t read the books either.

I am number four film post

(Film poster for ‘I Am Number Four’)

‘I Am Number Four’ is one of those films, there have been four books released out of a planned series of seven so I’d presume that there is a fairly large and structured plot.

However the film of ‘I Am Number Four’ was a bit of a mess, the premise is a bit like Superman: a doomed world sends alien kids to Earth. The mean aliens who destroyed the planet now come to Earth to track and kill the kids.

The film doesn’t embellish this simple plot terribly much at all, there is a bit of outcast at high school melodrama including a girl and a bully, a cute puppy-lizard turns out to be more than he seems – incidentally the puppy-lizard is also the best actor in the film and the only character worth caring about.

i am number four - Bernie Kosar - puppy lizard

(Photo from

Number Four is a dull character made worse by bad acting, he is too stupid to have lived that long even with the help of Timothy Olyphant’s bodyguard character who pretends to be his dad so that humans don’t get suspicious (or something!)

Even to a casual observer Timothy Olyphant wouldn’t pass as his father – perhaps older brother at a push, however he is the least annoying human character in a film that is frankly overlong teen twaddle with no real point.

The only last impression I will have of this film – apart from the puppy-lizard, is that a Haunted Hayride is one of the most hick things that I have ever seen.

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