The thought “that cover looks interesting” has led me to picking up a number of disappointing books – many of which were the reason that I started this blog as an easy way of documenting my literary mistakes. One day I might even work out how to stop making mistakes, however ‘Blue Bloods’ proves that today is not that day.
The premise is that there were vampires on the Mayflower and they prospered in American high society to the extent that anyone who is Anyone is a vampire. The vampires hide in plain sight protected by their wealth & power and they basically reincarnate, only remembering their past lives when they turn fifteen.
Schuyler Van Alen is one such 15 year old, although her family doesn’t have money anymore, her mother is in a coma, her father is an unknown and there are dead bodies turning up.
I was feeling in a particularly sarcastic mood when I started this book and took great delight in reading it in entirely the wrong way, for example “They’d settled on a sexy-but-in-an-off-beat-bohemian-way-with-straps-just-falling-off-the-shoulder-just so-Marni camisole, a tiny denim Earnest Sewn miniskirt and a sparkly Rick Owens cashmere wrap” was just too funny for words as if you are an immortal who cares about brands?
The characters were largely two dimensional, badly described and shallow but there were in-depth descriptions of food, clothing and the trappings of wealth. I almost got confused at one point and thought that a white Chanel handbag was the main character.
Every teen and most of the adults possess a silly name – although they were at least high-class silly as oppose to my sister-in-law who has blessed both her children with names straight from a soap opera.
(Photo from commons.wikimedia.org)
Despite the unfortunate name I did want to like Schuyler, she is the main protagonist after all – she also seemed to be nice enough and doesn’t deliberately set out to hurt people, but she was an interesting as a stale white bread sandwich with no filling.
I am pretty sure that this series must be aimed at young adults and female adults looking for a light read, which is why it was a little surprising that characters who are meant to be 15 years old were depicted in a way that seemed to condone drinking, swearing, skipping school and funerals, sex with strangers and modelling wearing just a pair of jeans with plasters over your nipples.
Also blood sucking was a blatant and clear metaphor for sex – not exactly hyper-original but given Cruz’s vampires like sunlight I guess she needed some link to the more traditional myths.
The obsession with the trappings of wealth were beginning to get a bit dull by half way through the book – even before the four page description of how the expensive furniture was arranged to accommodate a high-class house party. There had been hints of a larger plot, something to do with a cover-up around how vampires can die, hints that vampires had angelic origins and the historic relationships between the reincarnated teens, but then the fashion show started again and I got distracted giggling at it.
This is the first in a series of seven books, plus assorted shorter stories and spinoff series, but ‘Blue Bloods’ was too obsessed with consumer goods and too vacuous for my tastes so the charity shop can have it back.
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