Film: Assassins – “the moral of the story is this: everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy, and everyone who gets you out of crap is not necessarily your friend, and if you’re warm and happy no matter where you are you should just keep your big mouth shut”

‘Assassins’ was released in the mid 1990 when Sylvester Stallone was in his difficult period and involved in some rather iffy films – for example ‘Daylight’ and ‘Stop! Or my Mom will shoot’. ‘Demolition Man’ was also in this time frame but is in a different league altogether.

I think I may have watched it before but not in the last 7 years, making it an obvious target to watch prior to moving house.

Things do not go well, I’m not even 15 minutes in and we’ve experienced one finger typing, crude instant messenger, $200,000 being decent money for a contract kill and an ancient printer… oh dear this film hasn’t aged well. Antonia Banderas doesn’t look right as a human, he makes a better Puss In Boots.

assassins

Stallone has stole a taxi and is cruising around hoping to get Banderas as a fare… the odds of that working are pretty minimal and then the dvd player crashed.

I will never know if Stallone gets lucky or if this film stops being so horribly dated, instead I take the hint and put the film in the charity shop pile.

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