So what would you like to do for New Years? Anything but this…

Apparently I want to be woken up at 4am by one parent getting ready to depart, then have to clean the guest room for the next arrivals – who will be with us at midday.

We are then all going to try very hard not to mention people who died a year ago today… it is going to be a very odd day.

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Film: Yogi Bear – “you have to spend your days being selfish and destructive while everyone else pays the price”

It isn’t often than I am thankful for not having fond childhood memories of things, however the 2010 Yogi Bear film is awful and if I’d had any fond memories it would have pounded them into dust.

yogi bear

Dan Aykroyd voices Yogi and gives the impression of being on some rather good pharmaceuticals.

Justin Timberlake is a high pitched Boo-Boo and the less said the better really.

However the booby prize goes to Anna Faris who every bit as annoying as she was in ‘Scary Movie’.

Maybe the film improved after the first 15 minutes, but I don’t hate myself enough to chance it.

 

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Book: Cassandra Clare’s ‘The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones’ – ” She looks like someone whose phone number should be on a bathroom wall.”

I haven’t read any of the six Mortal Instrument books but I have now seen the film of the first one.

If it wasn’t for the massive eyebrows and REALLY bad music it might have been an ok film, the effects were rather good at the very least.

However the snogging in the rain in the greenhouse scene made me reach for the remote.

the mortal instrumentsAnd gosh Simon is SO painfully two-dimensional in this film, judging by the book spoilers that doesn’t change for a couple of books.

clary and her enourmous eyebrows

There are some nice touches that seem to come from the books, for example the idea that Bach’s music can expose demons is rather fun, but the film feels clunky and slightly lost. And I spent far too much time wondering if her eyebrows are so HUGE in the book.

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Food: Innocent Antioxidant Super Smoothie – Green smoothie again!

It is cold and there are lots of bugs doing the rounds, so anything that boosts vitamin C sounds a good idea.

Which is why I ended up drinking yet another strange green smoothie.

innocent antioxidant

As this was an Innocent branded smoothie there were no vegetables, apart from a tiny little bit of squeezed cucumber, and “A Dash of Spinach & Nettle Extract”

It is mostly apple, banana and kiwi, but doesn’t taste as nice as the usual Innocent smoothies. However if it staves off this cold I will be very happy!

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Film: Hotel Transylvania – “One of your piranhas in the lake is very rude. He ate my sister-in-law.”

One of the more amusing things to come out of the Sony hack is how many Sony employees apparently don’t like Adam Sandler films.

I don’t think I’ve seen many Adam Sandler films, it just sometimes feels like the trailers last for 90 minutes or longer…

‘Hotel Transylvania’ is however surprisingly good, Count Dracula owns a monster-only hotel where no humans are permitted – at all.

hotel transylvania

His hotel is packed with monsters to celebrate his daughter Mavis’ 118th birthday when a random human backpacker arrives. Dracula ends up disguising the pesky human as Frankenstein’s cousin.

The pesky human helps make Mavis’ party more hip, allowing the obvious plot device of him and Mavis falling in love.

Whilst the basic plot is predictable and the musical numbers are iffy, there is a decent sense of humour present and some of the jokes are amusing. It was far better than I expected – although the ending was a little iffy!

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Nails: Scooby Doo nails – “Gee, Scraps, you didn’t have to freak out like a jerk and kill all humanity”

Still tired from moving house – and from the cat-based noises that come from G and F exploring their territory.

They don’t explore quietly and it is exhausting having random horror movie noises for most of the night. It’s like an annoying version of Scooby-Doo but with no one to unveil the beasties.

scooby doo nails

(Picture from Pinterest)

That is assuming that the beasties can be unmasked, I am pretty sure they must have supernatural powers to make that much noise!

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Film: Scooby-Doo! Curse of the Lake Monster – “I got a talking dog, and I can’t understand a word he says.”

I can honestly blame the free trial of Amazon Prime for my having seen any of this film, compared to the endless list of cheap horror film and borderline ‘adult’ titles this looked good.

Watching approximately 15 minutes of the film did make the world feel a better place… when it stopped.

Scooby-Doo! Curse of the Lake Monster

Although I can honestly say that I hadn’t previously considered what Velma would look like with Japanese origins and in fairness to Hayley Kiyoko she was definitely the only one with acting ability in the film – apart from Scooby.

The monster being a giant frog with fangs was also … different, but it felt like a children only film rather than a family film, so I stopped bothering.

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