Film: The Covenant – “Boys, that girl hasn’t worn panties since she was twelve. “

‘The Covenant’ is 2006 teen-themed horror with a mildly metal soundtrack and a cast hired more for their looks than their acting ability.

Four friends at a posh school are the teenage descendants of a 17th century coven of witches. They gain some superpowers at 13 and then more at 18 when they “ascend”.

A lot of the film is their mild hi-jinks, some intrigue as to who is using (their powers) and a budding romance between the eldest of the friends and some blonde.

The film is enjoyable trash until about two-thirds of the way through, before it gets both silly and rather dull.

the covenant

The big showdown being in a barn is a little lame given some of the prettier sets used earlier in the film. But then the big showdown does appear to consist of them throwing globs of goo at each other.

I have a theory that the goo, the bros before anyone else attitude, the *really* questionable line about panties and the amount of male nudity (mostly topless but at least one bare bottom) on screen are less about the addictive and alluring power of magic and more about someone’s barely repressed homosexual urges.

I hasten to add that I have no issue with the lifestyle choice that underpin either interpretation and suspect that the homosexual explanation feels more likely to be accurate!

Also if using magic ages you badly and makes you more addicted to using then I’d suggest that using it to repair a broken windscreen is pretty stupid.

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