Gardening: Lying Through My Teeth

I am not proud to admit this but this week I was asked “so what plants are on your gardening list?” and my response was to lie through my teeth.

The honest answer would have been “I’m waiting to see if the other stuff we planted dies first”.

But the answer I gave was “oh I have a couple of things I’m considering, I’ll email you”.

 

rollins band liar
There was then 140 minutes of frantic google activity until I came up with a half-way believable list which looked like:

Geraniums should  be ok in clay and asters might be.

Siberian iris look bright

Masterwort could work

hybrid Lenten rose appeal

bergenia

I like ‘brilliants’ but I don’t think they’d like the soil

Sweet briar should be pretty easy and have a charm  –  but get rather broad

I like periwinkle but they get rather broad

If I’m honest I am not massively concerned about any of these, all I want to grow is something I can eat – although *what* is not exactly planned yet.

So the whole (hole?) time I have Henry Rollins howling “LIAR” – I am totally going to gardening hell.

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Nails: Hello Sailor

My mum had a top that was far too similar to these nails for comfort.

She also has a thing for striped tops – usually blue and white stripes, this is probably why I’ve never owned one and why I can’t make up my mind about if these nails are nice…

navy gold anchor

(Photo from Pinterest)

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Film: ‘The Family’ – “Why’d you beat him to a pulp? He’s the only plumber within a radius of 20 miles.”

‘The Family’ is a Luc Besson directed film about an American Mafia family who have relocated to Normandy, France under the witness protection program.

the family

The trailer included a scene where the French were openly rude and disrespectful – which is pretty much my experience of the French and their inefficient bureaucracy is seemingly never-ending.

The film has a few scenes along those lines and I found those very amusing, the rest of the film is fine but I’m not sure it would work as well if you didn’t have the first-hand experience of just how bloody-minded the French can be.

I need to get my parents a copy.

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Book: Keith Melton’s ‘Dark Ride Dogs’- “But not being burned as a witch still put me quite a few miracles short of canonization.”

It’s been an odd week, due to a small (and I really do mean small) influx of cash and a few annoyances at work I decided to treat myself to some cheap rubbish that promised to be fleetingly entertaining.

Which is how I ended up buy the sequel to a book that I wasn’t even sure I was ever going to reread – Keith Melton’s ‘The Zero Dog War’ was ok once so I’m not entirely sure what possessed me to by ‘Dark Ride Dogs’.

dark ride dogs

The book is irreverent and mildly amusing, but the team’s constant bickering is slightly grating – I didn’t need reminding quite so many times that the Andrea is holding together a team of misfits who don’t play well with themselves or anyone else.

The sex crazed goblins were more creepy pervy than serious villain material and the ghost clowns were under used.

It was distracting and mildly amusing – which was the aim of buying it, but it did demonstrate how much the original book relied on sheer novelty value to hang together.

Even at the bargain basement price of £2.50 I feel slightly cheated.

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Food: Reflets de France Crottin de Touraine Goats Cheese – Smells like goat

It has been ages since I had goats cheese, so seeing Reflets de France Crottin de Touraine Goats Cheese on offer it seemed too good to miss.

It is as stinky and strong as anything derived from a goat should be!

Reflets de France Crottin de Touraine Goats Cheese

Rather expensive but fun for a treat!

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Gardening: I think it’s dead

When someone says “I’ve sent you 100 snowdrop bulbs” I was a) vey surprised as that seems pretty random and b) expecting dry bulbs.

What I got was “in green” snowdrops, i.e. snowdrops that someone else planted, saw flower, dug up and shoved in the post with the expectation that I would plant them. There was probably also the expectation that the plants would live… but that might have been too much to hope for.

Apparently what you *should* plant “in green” snowdrops do that only the green is showing. 40 minutes of searching on the internet did NOT tell me this but I really wish it had.

Let’s just say my snowdrops are showing some white stalk above ground…but they are also lying limp and dead looking so it might be a mute point.

On the plus side the Forythia, Buddleja or Japanese Cherry don’t seem to obviously hate me right now… there is no sign they like me but it could happen!

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Nails: Paper Planes – Gaining a new perspective on things

Work is weird, technically I’ve moved departments but you wouldn’t realise it.

My little team sit on a different floor to the new department and have minimal interactions with them. Which was starting to make me feel a bit isolated and underappreciated.

The other day the inept people in Building Management managed to put a hole in the celling and flooded our desks. In search of somewhere dry I went and sat upstairs with my new department – only to find that their idea of a hard day at work was to throw paper planes around and discuss their favourite episode of ‘Fireman Sam’.

paper plane nails

(Photo from Pinterest)

Oddly enough I am happy being isolated on another floor now!

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