A hairdresser wearing a hat doesn’t inspire confidence

I wish my hair would behave slightly more well behaved, even as a child everyone commented that my hair was really thick and this was seen as being an enviable quality.

It might be enviable if each strand wasn’t very fine, as it is my hair has a habit of eating brushes and I have to be very fussy about the shampoo and conditioner that I use if I wasn’t want an unmanageable mess of tangles.

This means that I’ve preferred long bob length since I was 15, however I did start to wonder how it would look longer – and it that would let me avoid going to the hairdressers for longer. I am not good at random small talk and being in situations where it is required can stress me out a little.

fedora

It doesn’t help that my last hairdressers looked like a tattoo convention and had a massively high staff turnover – every time I started to get comfortable with someone they left.

There aren’t that many hairdressers in the nearest town by the time you exclude the specialists in African hair, the overpriced designer hair care places and the places that also offer to style & colour hair on another part of the body!

The one that I ended up trying had less obviously tattooed staff and was playing radio-friendly pop music rather than sounding like a rave – so was already an improvement on the last place. However it was a little odd to have a stylist who kept her fedora on the entire time – which made me wonder if she was hiding a style disaster under there.

Dodgy hats aside I was pretty happy with what she did, bearing in mind that all I wanted was a trim there really wasn’t much scope to go wrong! Although it does seem that they are into really sleek and feathered finishes which aren’t really very me, I’ve going to go again in a couple of months, but I might ask if she can remove the hat this time.

 

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The world VS my glasses – Perception is a lie

At an eye test around 18 months ago it was advised that I should wear glasses for using computer screens – a pretty major part of my day-job.

I wasn’t overly inclined to use the glasses as a) it was all new to me and I didn’t like it and b) the optician’s faffing and fussing over my employer’s eye test voucher took ages and was irritating.

cat chewing glasses

(Photo from mylast365days.blogspot)

For the last month I’ve been having eye-wateringly bad headaches and eventually the penny dropped  that it might be an idea to try my glasses. Having put them on my headache started to reduce so now it was merely very very uncomfortable – which is sort of a positive I suppose…

I am hoping that the residual eye strain continues to diminish and at some point soon I might be headache free. However this will only happen if I continue to wear my glasses – which I detest.

janine ghostbusters glasses

(Still from ‘Ghostbusters’ or possibly ‘Ghostbusters 2’)

I tried very hard to pick a pair of glasses that were as invisible as possible; the frames are pretty thin, there is no big chunky logo or design flair, the colour is a slight purple – subtle but funky. So I shouldn’t hate them… but I do, frankly they make me feel like Janine from ‘Ghostbusters’.

Aside from her dulcet tones and interesting hair it is Janine’s glasses that scream minimum-wage-receptionist/general dogsbody – which isn’t a look or career than anyone would aspire to.

penelope garcia glasses criminal minds

Contrastingly Penelope Garcia from ‘Criminal Minds’  has made her glasses part of her quirky demeanour – unfortunately I suspect my employer won’t be overly understanding if I adopted her dress sense or certain aspects of her personality (aka sexual harassment of male co-workers).

Also I have yet to see an episode of ‘Criminal Minds’ where Garcia is given concussion by her cat head-butting her – having glasses has just made this experience more painful!

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Today sucks – bring on the glitter shower gel

Some days suck too much to describe.

Fortunately I have found the most wonderful shower gel, it is vanilla scented and glittery

glitter shower gel

(Photo – and product, from yves-rocher)

After a fair bit of inadvertent research into what improves a shocking awful day I can confirm that being in denial is easier with glitter.

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Nails: Animal print – as banned by zoos everywhere

As Chessington Zoo have banned animal print clothing from their property – as it can confuse the animals

They haven’t yet banned animal print nail art, but maybe these manis might change their mind.

I’d not previously considered the idea of rainbow puke animal print nails before seeing these, I may now never be able to forget having seen them.

rainbow puke animal print nails

(Photo from some TArt)

Pink animal print always seems to bring out women of a certain age – either in their early 20s or old enough to know better!

pink animal print nails

(Photo from Blogspot)

Glitter and pink AND animal print? That certainly makes a statement…I am reminded of the woman I used to work with who was fired for being  butt-naked and having ‘relations’ in a lift at a fancy hotel during a company conference.

oh my

(Photo from Pinterest)

At this point I was drowning under a flood of animal print nails to be point where I was feeling confused and a little scared! So I decided to stop after one last mani…

These nails made the cut due to the random My Little Pony prop. The fact that the pony clashes with the nails and the woman had 400 ponies in her collection to choose from takes skill… or being sprayed in the face with mace.

my little pony animal print nails

(Photo from another Blogspot)

They did make me wonder if Chessington has banned My Little Pony costumes yet. I think it would be wise.

my little pony costume
(Photo from some costume site)

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Nails: Iron Man – all I wanted was something simple and classy

The first two Iron Man films were a lot of fun, the third suffered from repeated references to Christmas which were beyond irritating in a Summer release.

The first two ‘Die Hard’ films and ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’ are pretty much the only films that can get away with Christmas references not making the film seem silly.

But if I block out the third ‘Iron Man’ then there is some pretty solid nail art inspiration, two key colours how hard can it be?

This first mani and the wobby lines make me regret that question a little bit… but everyone has to start somewhere I suppose.

iron man pixieled

(Photo from pixieledmakeup)

And at least I can point her towards Etsy, where there is always something that you can buy that possibly has no real function except convenience – or freakshow value.

etsy iron man acrylics

(Photo from etsy)

I like the idea of action nails, it isn’t something that many people try – although the lettering lets this mani down.

iron man nail babble

(Photo from nailbabble)

There is always someone who tries a little too hard to out-bling everyone else and overcomplicates a simple idea – although as individual nails they are all very pretty, it is as a combined set that your eyes melt.

iron-man-nail-art-handbag

(Photo from handbag)

Thankfully there is someone out there who gets that simple is classy, that two colours and a bit of shine can be far more effective than a complicated design.

iron man red hair and (1)

(Photo from redhairandblacknailpolish)

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Nails: Elvis – more flair than One Direction

A woman that I know has a pretty major Elvis obsession, it doesn’t seem to be about the music, instead it is absolute hero worship.

Which is fine, whatever makes her happy and isn’t hurting anyone. I just don’t get it in the same way as I don’t really understand the cult following of the Beatles.

When I was in my late teen and early 20s there were a few bands that I liked more than others, but looking at ticket stubs and CDs there isn’t any one that really stands out as being THE one.

A bit like these nails, they certainly aren’t the one thing that you would want to be remembered for

beauty elvis

(Photo from Beauty.About)

It might be as simple as the 1950s were a time of social change, where new and challenging influences were entertain mainstream consciousness for the first time – although classic red, white and blue nails never look old.

nailsshine elvis

(Photo from NailsShine)

Maybe the appeal of Elvis is he was a showman, something that these nails convey rather well

jeealee elvis

(Photo from Jeealee)

Maybe you had to be there to understand the appeal…

prettynailswag elvis

(Photo from PrettyNailSwag)

On the other hand there aren’t that many bands around these days that can capture the public imagination in an almost cult fashion and leave behind anything worthwhile – One Direction seem to get a scary amount of coverage but the nail art dedicated to them is pretty poor

one direction nail art

(Photo from Packapunch)

Given the choice between them and Elvis I can see why Elvis would win.

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Nails: Aliens – the little green men are out to get you

Aliens, aka Extraterrestrials, can be anything that comes from another planet.

The events in Roswell in 1947 cemented the concept of alien beings and UFOs into popular culture

It just happens  that popular culture has decided that aliens should be little, with tentacles and preferably green.

blogspot

(Photo from Blogspot)

Although if they are cartoon-styled then they can be a variety of colours.

flickr

(Photo from flickr)

Grey aliens are a sign of a serious believer, they are too creepy to be cute and they have big creepy eyes.

little grey men

(Photo from a different Blogspot)

As cute as ‘Toy Story’ made their aliens look I am going to agree with Stephen Hawking that trying to contact alien life forms is unlikely to end well,

Or as he put it “If aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn’t turn out well for the Native Americans.”

toy story alien nails

(Photo from some TArt)

They don’t look so cute now.

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Cartoon nails – Winnie-The-Pooh meets Tank Girl

Some day’s escapism seems a fab idea, a little bit of hiding from reality just until reality stops sucking so much.

With this in mind cartoon character nail art sounded therapeutic – and fiddly enough to be a bit of a distraction.

The cute little bees on these Winnie-The-Pooh nails look like they would take some practise!

fashioncandy

(Photo from fashioncandy)

These Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle nails are pretty cute, but are probably best to
get out of your system before Michael Bay’s new film version renders the Turtles almost as uncool as the Vanilla Ice cameo in ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The secret of the ooze’.

Or before Megan Fox gets a dire Turtles tattoo to match her other iffy tattoos.

TMNT_nails

(Photo from list25)

Talking of films that are best of unseen, The Flintstones movies came out long enough ago to have been forgotten about – I was surprised to hear there was a second film!

Although poor Pebbles didn’t come out to well on these nails – she looks more like cave wall art.

manso0n

(Photo from some TArt)

I can’t remember seeing the Tank Girl film but probably have done so. The comics were created by Jamie Hewlett and Alan Martin – former then went on to create Gorillaz with Blur’s Damon Albarn

I’m not sure that sexual experimentation with a mutant kangaroo, strange female friends in armoured vehicles and water shortages leading to the end of the civilised world count as positive escapism, but it makes good nail art!

polishartaddiction

(Photo from nevorpurify)

Tank Girl’s tattoos are also better than Megan Fox’s.

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Japanese Monster Nails

In modern popular culture Japan has the best monsters. They even have a funky word for it “Kaiju” which has a literal translation of “strange creature” – although the English definition has been simplied to “giant monster”.

Most of these monsters are indeed giant, from Rodan (a giant pteranodon) to Mothra (a giant moth) and even a giant Frankenstein ( in the 1965 ‘Frankenstein  versus Subterranean Monster Barago’). The best known of all of them, the King of All Monsters is Godzilla.

It turns out that he looks rather good on nail art too:

godzilla iceomatic

(Photo from Iceomaticsnails)

Domo-kun is arguably more of a mascot than a monster, but due to his teeth and appearance he is a monster.

domo kan we heart it

(Photo from WeHeartIt)

Last, but not least, for today is Nyan Cat. Arguably this isn’t a monster, however I feel Nyan Cat counts as a monster because it is scary, odd and has led to a number of lawsuits and seemingly random acts of litigation.

nyan cat art-sci

(Photo from Art-Sci)

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Zombie nails – how to look good and annoy my boss

After a day at work which felt like a living nightmare it sounds most therapeutic to have zombie themed nails.

The catch is unless it is the weekend I probably can’t go too extreme or gore-covered.

Fortunately the internet has a fair number of happy looking or comical zombie nails.

These little fellows look sort of like grumpy little barnacles, which isn’t overly what I’d want to wear. The one with a big smile covered in blood and cross eyes is a bit too sinister for work – I think I’d find myself escorted from the premises…

did my nails

(Photo from DidMyNails)

Neon green is a hard colour to pull off, but somehow these nails work really well, the lack of eyes is a huge plus! The cute little stitches are a nice touch! Although I am not entirely sure what the red bits are…

dtartjpg

(Photo from some TArt)

These are uber-creepy and very well done, but they remind me of the artwork for the film ‘Identity’ – the one with John Cusack and all the people stuck at the motel who get killed one by one… so I can see work’s rent-a-cops security guards featuring in my life with these nails too.

overpolished

(Photo from Overpolished)

Duel purpose nails are fab, this way I can have zombie-themed nails AND gesture to my co-workers “fellow shareholders” to get some darn brains by using a hand-sign that isn’t technically offense!

girls night

(Photo from Girlsnightcreativity)

Gosh I do hope that it is the small and fat security guard working tomorrow, I can outrun her even with my borked knee!

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