Book: John P. Logsdon and Christopher P. Young’s The Merging – “…walking around with his shirt open because he looks like a Chippendale’s model”

Ian Dex is a genetically-enhanced individual – as are most of the team of the paranormal police in Las Vegas. These enhancements also make him- and the rest of his team, very horny – which is frankly a weird thing to make a core part of your world building, but whatever it’s different I guess…

In terms of plot the book is largely about how Ian has slept with most of his team and pretty much anything female with a pulse, although there is a number of super-sized and super-strong vampires, werewolves and succubus picking fights all over town

the merging

Apparently this book is meant to be action and comedy – urban fantasy with a bit of police procedural and a sense of  humour, I noticed the action and it was ok however the comedy aspect passed me by almost completely. I’m wondering if I just wasn’t in the mood for it as the Amazon reviews for ‘The Merging’ seem really positive and I was totally indifferent to it

The only real impact this book had was to generate a thought-chain about why HR hadn’t got involved over what was very clearly appropriate sexual behaviour in the workplace

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Curious: Magic wands in the workplace

I’m not sure that I believe in magic, however I have bought a magic wand for work.

The logic being that I am often asked to manage the impossible with too little time, no resources and no real Business benefits even if the impossible was achieved.

But if I wave my magic wand – whilst looking hopeful, I might be able to work the miracles that are expected by my oh-so-lovely employer.

fairy wand

(Photo from Claires)

Tellingly my coworkers haven’t batted an eyelid at the wand or its proposed usage – several people (irrespective of gender or sexual identity) have asked to borrow it.

It would be rather funky if it worked, however I am not holding my breath!

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Film: The Covenant – “Boys, that girl hasn’t worn panties since she was twelve. “

‘The Covenant’ is 2006 teen-themed horror with a mildly metal soundtrack and a cast hired more for their looks than their acting ability.

Four friends at a posh school are the teenage descendants of a 17th century coven of witches. They gain some superpowers at 13 and then more at 18 when they “ascend”.

A lot of the film is their mild hi-jinks, some intrigue as to who is using (their powers) and a budding romance between the eldest of the friends and some blonde.

The film is enjoyable trash until about two-thirds of the way through, before it gets both silly and rather dull.

the covenant

The big showdown being in a barn is a little lame given some of the prettier sets used earlier in the film. But then the big showdown does appear to consist of them throwing globs of goo at each other.

I have a theory that the goo, the bros before anyone else attitude, the *really* questionable line about panties and the amount of male nudity (mostly topless but at least one bare bottom) on screen are less about the addictive and alluring power of magic and more about someone’s barely repressed homosexual urges.

I hasten to add that I have no issue with the lifestyle choice that underpin either interpretation and suspect that the homosexual explanation feels more likely to be accurate!

Also if using magic ages you badly and makes you more addicted to using then I’d suggest that using it to repair a broken windscreen is pretty stupid.

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Lisa Shearin’s ‘Magic Lost, Trouble Found’ – “I wouldn’t be comfortable, but at least I’d have marginal protection against pointy steel objects that went stab in the night”

I bought this, very cheaply, because someone whose writing I like recommended another of Lisa’s book. I read the recommended book and wasn’t too sure what to think – it is overdue a reread, but I read the first chapter of ‘Magic Lost, Trouble Found’ online so when I found it cheaply it seemed worth a go.

Raine Benares is a seeker, basically a low skilled sorceress who finds things for people. Her friend Quentin sometimes helps her find things – usually because he is in possession of them having been hired by someone else, however he has a poor sense to accept the job of stealing an amulet from a necromancer and ends up swarming with Goblins.

The Goblins are after the amulet due to its links to a soul-sucking stone, unfortunately the amulet likes Raine better…

magic lost trouble found

Raine is likable enough, she has some interesting friends already, she makes some new ones and the plot wanders along nicely. However whilst I like the book I don’t love the book, I don’t even overly care what happens in the next books – there are a total of six in the series, I don’t care which one of the two potentially eligible (and interested) men she ends up with and I am unsure if I even want to keep this book.

I don’t usually have such vague feelings towards anything – for example at this split second I currently hate the disorganised person who is buying my home, I am looking forward to watching a specific TV show later and I am craving home-made sausage rolls, so I am a bit confused that I’ve read a book and have no emotion whatsoever apart from the knowledge that it exists.

I think this is probably grounds to get rid of the book and maybe see if I can find the rest in a library at some point. Whilst I am at it I may as well get rid of ‘Kitty Goes to War’ as the evil 24 hour convenience store chain is a cooler idea than the book was able to utilise. In fairness even the Japanese film Cursed (aka ‘Extremely Scary Story A: Dark Crow’) didn’t really know what to do with the idea.

Copyright © WhereEvilThoughts 2014 – excluding pictures! Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to WhereEvilThoughts with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Book: Marie Bruce’s ‘Workplace Magick’ – “Ditch-delivered by a drab”

I had a really bad manager about 5 years ago, they were utterly unpleasant and for a while I did have to borrow my co-worker’s voodoo doll.

I did escape and am much happier for it, however at the time my confidence took a hit so in an attempt to pick myself up I bought a couple of self-help style books.

workplace

But not normal self-help books, I went for weird ones, including ‘Workplace Magick’ which has a tagine of “spells and rituals to make your workplace a secure, productive and positive place to work”. It also has a funky purple cover, I blame the funky purple for 87% of the purchase.

This book is an accessible, slightly twee collection of typical female-orientated self-help mantras with added candles and crystals. As well as a total reliance on Bach Rescue Remedy.

It has been in the “why do I have this” pile for months and when I picked it up I skim read it in 20 minutes. It is a cute idea, but I should have borrowed it from the library.

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Trudi Canavan’s ‘The Magicians’ Guild’ – magic and slum dwellers and boredom, oh my!

I knew this book was the first in The Black Magician trilogy when I bought it, but as it was book one I expected it to be tolerably self-contained – to at least draw me into the world and then end on the cliff-hanger so I’d buy more books.

The plot is set in a world where the magicians are top dog and are used to bossing everyone around. Then a slum child called Sonea throws a stone at some magicians and it goes through their magic bubble, which means she must have magic and the magicians want to find her otherwise blah blah untrained magic blah blah destroy the world blah.

The Magicians Guild

The trouble is “blah” pretty much sums up the book, I struggled to get to half way through and at this Sonia was STILL being dragged from slum house to slum house by a guy she knew as a child who had now pimped himself out to the Thieves Guild and the magicians were closing in.

This is a REALLY a lot of pages to spend on one long chase scene, it isn’t even setting anything up as Sonea has no backbone or personality  and might only start to develop one (or both) once she stops running and starts training as a magician properly – which is so a foregone conclusion.

By half way through I’d drawn several conclusions, Sonea was a boring character, her childhood friend was not going to get into her pants, the magicians were two-dimension and the Thieves Guild would never had drawn down so much heat for a slum brat who had magic that she couldn’t control. They’d sell her to the highest bidder and then buy some pretty knives.

gutters

(Picture from Wiki)

So for the first time that I can remember I decided not to finish the book. It probably gets better once Sonea gets ‘caught’ but I really don’t care anymore. My preferred ending tight now that is she falls off a roof trying to escape and dies in a gutter as her fellow slum dwellers steal her few belongings.

Out of very mild interest I did look up what happened in the rest of the trilogy and am very glad I stopped reading as whilst things get more interesting they won’t make up for the dull 250 pages that I wasted my time on.

Spoilers start now, Sonea doesn’t fit in too well with the magicians, Sonea shags a black magician, fights a bit and gets knocked up by the black magician, he dies and she is now the black magician. Oh the excitement.

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Book: ‘The Trouble With Magic’ – wriggle your nose out of trouble now b*tch

‘The Trouble With Magic’ is apparently the first book in the ‘A bewitching mystery’ series by Madelyn Alt.

Maggie O’Neill hates her job, her boss and the rut her life is in. So she manages to lose the old job and, randomly, get one at an Antique shop run by Felicity – Felicity is a witch, well a Wiccan.
the trouble with magic

Within about 5 minutes of Maggie liking her new job then Felicity becomes a suspect in a  local murder.

Maggie noses around a bit and finds two potential males she is interested in, she also leans a bit about magic – all the while it being stressed that she is a “Good Catholic.”

Wiccan-Army-Patch

(Photo from some store who want you to buy this patch)

It was a mild mystery/detective book with a bit of magic (aka the Wiccans) it is very very predictable and features very mild peril at the most. Most of the book seems to be setting the background up and the actual mystery story is also concluded at the very end of the book!

It was a tolerable lightweight distraction that didn’t really inspire me to read anymore in the series. But as I found the book in a bargain bin I can’t really complain.

Copyright © WhereEvilThoughts 2013 – excluding pictures! Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to WhereEvilThoughts with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.