Film: Warm Bodies – “I can’t remember my name, or my parents, or my job… although my hoodie would suggest I was unemployed.”

I taped ‘Warm Bodies’ when it was on Film4, I was mildly interested in it but I didn’t expect it to be that good.

So I turned it on when the Husband popped to B&Q for more supplies for his latest project, I thought it would kill half an hour or so  but I was still watching it and laughing when the Husband got back nearly an hour later – and then he started watching it!

warm bodies

Pllotwise, most of the world’s population is now undead, feed on the living when they can find them. The Living hide behind a walled off section of the city and occasionally send out groups of teens to look for food and supplies.

R is a zombie, but he is different, he can think and observe what is happening to himself and others. Initially the first chunk of the film is narrated by his thoughts, as the film progresses he starts slowly remembering how to talk out loud and talks to Julie – the human he inexplicably rescues from being eaten.

warm bodies still

It was a funny film with nice dialogue – often  R talking to himself which makes it funnier as it is such a contrast to his shambling zombie state.

It is also fundamentally romance – although happily there is no necrophilia 🙂

There is actually no gore or anything icky at all, which feels somewhat odd in a film about zombies!

I’m not sure if it would stand up to rewatching but it was surprisingly fun the first time!

Copyright © WhereEvilThoughts 2015 – excluding pictures! Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to WhereEvilThoughts with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Book: Anthology ‘Hex Appeal’ part 3

It was a bit of a struggle but I managed to finish all the stories in ‘Hex Appeal’.

The remaining stories were:

P. N. Elrod’s Outside The Box
Simon R. Green’s How Do You Feel?
Lori Handeland’s There Will Be Demons
Erica Hayes’ Cherry Kisses
Carrie Vaughn’s The Arcane Art of Misdirection

hex appeal

‘Outside the box’ was rather good, it felt like an introduction to a universe – in this case P. N. Elrod’s ‘Vampire Files’ universe. However when I looked at the ‘Vampire Files’ books they were set in 1930s Chicago… whilst ‘Outside The Box’ feels pretty modern.

So despite enjoying the story I am not sure I can actually read anything else by Elrod – which is vexing!

Simon R. Green’s ‘How Do You Feel?’ was odd. An unwilling zombie goes on a quest to find the person ultimately responsible for his murder years before. It is an odd story and doesn’t really make me want to touch anything else by Green – personally I didn’t think urban fantasy involved cars from the future that turn into sex bots.

Lori Handeland’s ‘There Will Be Demons’ made me uncomfortable. The female lead is  set up by multiple people and clearly used sexually, and it bothered me that the reader was meant to be ok about this setting up the wider universe. It features fairies, skinwalkers, dhampires and angels – it was a vaguely interesting premise but it went downhill very very quickly.

Erica Hayes’ ‘Cherry Kisses’ was sleazy and the female lead was not a nice person – at all. It features fairies, vampires and demons, if it hasn’t been for the sleaze it might have been ok.

Carrie Vaughn’s ‘The Arcane Art of Misdirection’ wasn’t even 30 pages long and this was a pity as Odysseus Grant is one of the most interesting characters in the Kitty books.

Copyright © WhereEvilThoughts 2015 – excluding pictures! Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to WhereEvilThoughts with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Book: Anthology ‘Hex Appeal’ part 2 – “Although that very thought was more shuddersome than a pack of feral zombies invading a tea party”

I am finding the ‘Hex Appeal’ anthology hard going – the initial two stories were readable but I’m having to try increasingly hard.

This week I managed to get through another two short stories:

Rachel Caine’s ‘Holly’s Balm’
Carole Nelson Douglas’ ‘Snow Job’

Caine’s story featured characters that had previously appeared in another anthology (that I haven’t read). Holly is a witch who  can raise the dead and Andy is a witch she brought back from the dead and is now dating…

hex appeal

Basically ‘Holly’s Balm’ felt like a mashup between Caine’s Revivalist series and Kim Harrisons Rachel Morgan series. There is the zombie-loving ick from the former and the wet witch who can’t see the obvious even when it is hitting her in the face from the latter.

I really hope the story wasn’t meant to contain plot twists as every bit of plot was broadcaster loud & clear WAY in advance. I’d read worse stories (more on that in a minute), but I wouldn’t bother reading it again.

Having never heard of Carole Nelson Douglas I went into ‘Snow Job’ with a completely open mind and no preconceptions.

sugar

(Sugar – because people like you just fuel my fire.)

Apparently it is set in the world of Delilah Street – Paranormal Investigator series. There seemed to be lots of references and information dumps that I didn’t understand, probably as I haven’t read any of the series.

Lots of things happened and the writing felt as if it could have been generated by a pop-culture obsessed monkey posting on Twitter whilst on a sugar high. For example:

“Call me one weird sister, but I wasn’t too high on bailing on the Inferno, or its owner. I’ve never been into male sex symbols. I’m not talking about the planet Mars with the provocative little arrow. Blatant onstage booty calls for screaming female fans and profit insult my intelligence. Elvis would have squealed in vain. Justin Timberlake would have to get his screams and squees from some other chick.”

In a short story every word counts and that was a lot of words conveying nothing of value to the story or anything else for that matter

Apparently Douglas has written 60 novels and judging by the quality of this story I feel that she may have managed this feat in one long sugar-fuelled weekend.

So far ‘Hex Appeal’ is on a strong downwards spiral and I’ve got another five stories to get through, I’m praying that it gets easier!

Copyright © WhereEvilThoughts 2015 – excluding pictures! Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to WhereEvilThoughts with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Book: Keith Melton’s ‘The Zero Dog War’ – “What if my destined mate walks past? She won’t recognize me if I hide the wang.”

‘The Zero Dogs War’ had been on my watch list for well over a year, I presume that it was recommended by someone. I knew that it was meant to be funny and silly, I also knew that the book version as £14 but the kindle version was £4.50 – a year ago it was £3.50 so I wasn’t rushing into buying it.

But then I had an iffy week coincide with payday and decided that a potentially amusing book for under a fiver was worth a punt.

The Zero Dogs are a mercenary team lead by Andrea Walker – who is a pyromancer, her team are an eclectic combination of people who I can’t summarise without spoiling some of the fun!.

The plot is also hard to sum up, but I will say that it features zombies, gelatine and lots of sarcasm.

It had a similar jibe to the Jaz Parks series and The Bloodhound Files series, but was a lot more irreverent in its humour.

It was mostly amusing and the plot was certainty different. I’m not entirely sure I will reread it anytime soon and I’m very glad I didn’t get the proper book version!

Copyright © WhereEvilThoughts 2015 – excluding pictures! Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to WhereEvilThoughts with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Film: Night Of The Living Dorks – They didn’t dub the music, German punk sounds odd

‘Die Nacht der lebenden Loser ‘ was filmed in German in 2004, in 2007 it was dubbed and released to an English speaking audience as ‘Night of the Living Dorks’.

Philip, Wurst and Konrad are high-school losers who smoke dope, are bullied and lust after unavailable girls.

Then they get turned into zombies and hijinks ensue.

It is pretty much like watching a lower budget version of ‘Idle Hands’ with a soundtrack made up of German punk music.

Copyright © WhereEvilThoughts 2015 – excluding pictures! Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to WhereEvilThoughts with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Film: ParaNorman – “Mom, tell the Zombie to stop saying stuff about me!”

‘ParaNorman’ is a stop-motion animated horror comedy with a PG rating. That combination should mean that it is aimed at children – or at least accessible to them! However the plot revolves around Norman who is an 11 year old boy who speaks to ghosts – including his grandmother, and the town’s execution of a witch 300 years ago.

Oh yes and zombies, lots of zombies.  

paranorman

It is a fun film and nicely done but due to ghosts, zombies and witches I’m not sure that it would be suitable most children under 10 – although my parents wouldn’t have batted an eyelid.

The other thing to note is that there is an openly homosexual character in it, personally it was fab to see their sexuality mentioned in passing and be treated as being an entirely unremarkable, however I am pretty darn sure that my sister-in-law would freak out at her children being ‘exposed’ to this. Although given she is keeping them away from Scooby Doo because it is too scary and she doesn’t want them to know about monsters perhaps she would freak more at the zombies and witches…

Which makes me all the more inclined to buy it for them so that their minds are broadened as much as possible!

Copyright © WhereEvilThoughts 2015 – excluding pictures! Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to WhereEvilThoughts with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Film: Hotel Transylvania – “One of your piranhas in the lake is very rude. He ate my sister-in-law.”

One of the more amusing things to come out of the Sony hack is how many Sony employees apparently don’t like Adam Sandler films.

I don’t think I’ve seen many Adam Sandler films, it just sometimes feels like the trailers last for 90 minutes or longer…

‘Hotel Transylvania’ is however surprisingly good, Count Dracula owns a monster-only hotel where no humans are permitted – at all.

hotel transylvania

His hotel is packed with monsters to celebrate his daughter Mavis’ 118th birthday when a random human backpacker arrives. Dracula ends up disguising the pesky human as Frankenstein’s cousin.

The pesky human helps make Mavis’ party more hip, allowing the obvious plot device of him and Mavis falling in love.

Whilst the basic plot is predictable and the musical numbers are iffy, there is a decent sense of humour present and some of the jokes are amusing. It was far better than I expected – although the ending was a little iffy!

Copyright © WhereEvilThoughts 2014 – excluding pictures! Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to WhereEvilThoughts with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Nails: Scooby Doo nails – “Gee, Scraps, you didn’t have to freak out like a jerk and kill all humanity”

Still tired from moving house – and from the cat-based noises that come from G and F exploring their territory.

They don’t explore quietly and it is exhausting having random horror movie noises for most of the night. It’s like an annoying version of Scooby-Doo but with no one to unveil the beasties.

scooby doo nails

(Picture from Pinterest)

That is assuming that the beasties can be unmasked, I am pretty sure they must have supernatural powers to make that much noise!

Copyright © WhereEvilThoughts 2014 – excluding pictures! Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to WhereEvilThoughts with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Book: Laurell K Hamilton’s ‘Obsidian Butterfly’ (Anita Blake 9) – “If you only believe when it’s easy, you don’t really believe”

I’m there! I’ve got to book 9! I’ve had to read several things that I really wasn’t happy with but now the payoff… right?

Please don’t read the below if you are under 18 or over 18 and easily offended/immature, the book isn’t suitable for you at all and it’s impossible to comment on the book without touching on some of these themes. There may also be triggers… but but but this is meant to be the GOOD book, why are there triggers in the GOOD book?!

‘Obsidian Butterfly’ was the ninth book and the last Anita Blake book that I owned, I knew that I didn’t like where it went after this point, which is why I stopped here. What I didn’t remember was that the downhill decent had started before this book, the sex and sexual violence was entrenched well before the horror of book ten.

I have a soft spot for Albuquerque and Santa Fe, I liked living there and even the school experience was only mostly weird – swearing allegiance to the TV because you don’t have a flag in the classroom is still creepy though. So I was happy when the book was set there, but it could be set anywhere, there is no real attempt to give the book flavour – apart from there is some desert.

obsidian butterfly

Plotwise, Edward has called in the favour that Anita owes him from ‘The Killing Dance’, there have been some murders and some mutilations. There is a very old Vampire who claims to be an Aztec god and lots of running around.

Anita ends up in hospital a couple of times, there are two chaps who seem interested in getting into her pants – we have no real mention of J-C or Richard in this book as Anita is avoiding them.

Then things go rapidly downhill, one of Edward’s other helpers is a rapist and serial murderer who really doesn’t like women. Anita is very disparaging towards women and burns a lot of bridges with the local law enforcement for no good reason.

And unfortunately we also have surprisingly graphic child rape and child torture (not waterboarding torture but the deliberate infliction of physical pain – which is still torture). I had totally blocked out this part of the book, upon revisiting it I find it is distinctly unnecessary and the children could have been put in adequate peril without this level of detail.

The rest of the plot was ok I guess and Edward having a major role is nice, but I won’t be reading anything by Hamilton again, this is my personal choice and is largely fuelled by her casual use of rape as a plot device across multiple books.

The fact that the rest of the Anita Blake series deteriorates into her sh*gging anything that moves – no it doesn’t have to have a pulse, doesn’t help make me want to join Anita on her journey.

I’m very happy if people like these books and gain enjoyment from them, however they aren’t for me, nothing more, nothing less.

Copyright © WhereEvilThoughts 2014 – excluding pictures! Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to WhereEvilThoughts with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Book: Laurell K Hamilton’s ‘Burnt Offerings’ and ‘Blue Moon’ (Anita Blake 7 and 8) – “When you apologize, try not to smile at the same time. It ruins the effect”

Nearly there with what I own of the Anita Blake series, I remember book 9 being fab so I just need to get through these last two then I am in for the good stuff… if my memory is accurate and I am beginning to wonder after the last few books.

Please don’t read the below if you are under 18 or over 18 and easily offended/immature, the book isn’t suitable for you at all and it’s impossible to comment on the book without touching on some of these themes. Oh yeah, may contain triggers, sorry about that but Hamilton seems to frequently uses rape as a plot device to show that someone is in peril.

‘Burnt Offerings’ starts so promisingly, Anita is approached about a case, an actual case that doesn’t involve bonking the vampire Master of the City, that doesn’t involve her dating him or the now properly alpha werewolf Richard. Weee…. And then crash down to earth as there is some vampire politics going on, specifically Asher (J-C’s long lost male lover) has returned to town and is an unhappy vampire about so many things – including the holy water scars that cover one half of his body.

burnt offerings

The plot is not terribly robust, actually it is window dressing for the rape, gang rape, descriptions of Anita’s sexy outfits, torture, heavily implied sexual use of a possessed body without the original occupant agreeing to it (which is rape), rotting vampires, rotting vampires threatening to rape people, more torture, did I mention rape? That pretty much covers it – apart from Nathaniel which then starts going into S&M sex and gosh I’d honestly forgotten that occurred before book 10, I am not comfy going there.

If the sex had actually been consensual then this could have new genre – paranormal smut. As it mostly wasn’t consensual (or necessary) then that just makes it charity shop fodder. I am not really happy with reading about this much rape and it doesn’t feel like entrainment at all.

Additionally it is getting annoying that  Anita thinks she is the centre of the universe by this point in the series and all the men let her carry on that way.

‘Blue Moon’, I was not looking forward to reading this after the rape-fest that was the last book. But at least we start with ALLEDGED rape rather than actual rape.

blue moon

Not that Richard did it, but he has been shagging all sorts and probably is horribly infested with STDs by now. We also have Nathaniel’s creepy demands for S&M sex, were-leopards are not healthy and well-rounded individuals in these books and I find it actually pretty disturbing to have a main-ish character who is too messed up to stand-up for themselves or use any common sense. For example, if the nice people want to cut you up whilst ***king you it might be a good idea to walk away before they gut you and leave you for dead. Or at least have a safe word and a minder to enforce it for you.

I am so done with rotting vampires, just die the true death already!

Anita has super powers, everyone is in awe at her, she randomly does something stupid and now all the werewolves are chasing her to ***k her… erm wow I wish I was making that up.

Origanlly when I read this books I must have either not actually connected them to reality or I was a silly little girl then and events of the past year have made me grow-up. I am personally mortified to own something that is this flippant about sexual violence and consent.

This series is miles away from a healthy relationship with sex, even when it isn’t rape-obsessed it’s unhealthy’ it’s all guilt and worrying about what people will think, without actually engaging your own brain and working out what is best, what is a good idea and what sort of compromise will be needed to ensure a healthy relationship with these people – be it as friends, as lovers or as casual sex.

The message seems to be  that Anita surrounds herself with men and her self-worth seems to be about how she has these two men that she loves and she can’t pick just one, so instead she runs around making crazy impulsive choices and everyone treats her as if she is special.

I am not keeping either of these books as there is too much rape for me to want to reread them ever again.

Copyright © WhereEvilThoughts 2014 – excluding pictures! Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to WhereEvilThoughts with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.